Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely
by Miharu-chan2
Summary: 3rd Chapter now up ^^;;. Anywho this is yaoi/lime/Kensuke. 1st chapter is a song fic but the 2nd one is not.
1. Default Chapter

Okay I know I haven't finished any the rest of my other fan fic, it will be done soon I swear. I came up with this because I have been listening to this song a lot. I wrote the words directly from the song so sorry if any of it is wrong. It's kind of sad I guess and it does have yaoi in it and it does talk about 2 boys having sex, but not too graphic. So if you don't like boys with boys or don't agree with it, leave now. You have been warned.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Ken or Daisuke nor do I own the Backstreet Boys. So don't sue me okay I don't have any money.  
  
  
Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely  
A song by the Backstreet Boys  
  
  
[Show me the meaning of being lonely]  
  
How many times I lay awake at night thinking of you. The way you fearlessly lead the so-called Digidestined. Daisuke you haunt me in every way. I know I love you but how can we be together? I am the Digimon Kaizer and you are the leader of the Digidestined. There is no possible way.  
  
[So many words for the broken heart]  
  
My heart aches every time I am forced to fight you. How can I bring my self to hurt the one that I love even when you have hurt so many Digimon? I can't bring myself to hate you, not even a little.  
  
[It's hard to see in a crimson love  
So hard to breath]  
  
I just stare at the screen when you come on it. I notice when you come in the Digital World and when you leave it. How much I want to be with you. Do you know how bad it hurts knowing I can't?  
  
[Walk with me and maybe  
Nights to light so soon become]  
  
Ken I know you can change. Do you know how bad I want you to change? I want to be with you Ken. I love you to damn much. Why did you become the Kaizer in the first place?  
  
[Wild and free  
I can feel the sun]  
  
I wake up every morning in the damn Digital World, which I control. Yet everything is so dark. Daisuke you are my sunlight. I wish I could tell you that.  
[You every wish will be done]  
  
Ken...  
  
[They tell me]  
  
Daisuke...  
  
[Show me the meaning of being lonely  
Is this the feeling I need to walk with?  
Tell me why I can't be there where you are  
There's something missing in my heart]  
  
*Ken* Daisuke I want you to be here with me. I don't want be lonely anymore.  
*Daisuke* Ken I want to be with you more then anything. I don't want to be lonely anymore.  
  
[Life goes on, as it never ended  
Eyes of stone observe the trends]  
  
Late at night I see you near my fortress. Where are the others? Why aren't they there? This could be my chance to tell you. I leave to find you telling everyone to stay behind. It will be just you and me tonight.  
  
[They never say  
Forever gazing for me]  
  
I sigh and lean against a tree looking up at the Digital sky. I wonder if I will see you tonight I want to tell you. I want this pain to go away. And then I see you; you walks out of the shadows and walks right up to me. "Daisuke I have something to tell you." you say. My heart starts beating fast. "Daisuke I love you." My heart almost stopped beating.  
  
[Beauty roams through an endless love]  
  
"I love you too Ken," you say to me. I push you up against the tree and begin to kiss you roughly. I can't control this any more. I want you. I want to show you that. I remove my cape and start to remove your jacket.  
  
[There's no control are you with me now?]  
  
I was a bit surprised when you kissed me, but I wanted you too. Now I am losing control. I want you. I feel you starting to remove my clothes. I know what you want. I want the same thing. I allow you to remove my clothes. I watch as you undress yourself.  
  
[Your every wish will be done]  
  
"Is this what you want? Tell me what you want." I remove my glasses and throw them on the pile of clothes.  
  
[Then tell me]  
  
I look into your beautiful eyes. They are so full of love. "This is what I want. Make love to me Ken."  
  
[Show me the meaning of being lonely  
Is this the feeling I need to walk with?  
Tell me why I can't be there where you are  
There's something missing in my heart]  
  
*Ken* I start to give you want you want. I tease your skin until you can't take it anymore. I prepare you for the love making process and position myself above you. I go slowly so I don't hurt you. How could I ever hurt anything so beautiful?  
*Daisuke* I must admit it hurt but soon pain became pleasure and I craved more. You start to push harder and faster in me. I can feel myself wanting to release, but I hold it off. I want this to last forever but I know it can't. I let pleasure over take me when I feel you cum in me. I erupt, spilling it onto my stomach and chest.  
  
[There's no where to run  
I have no place to go]  
  
I lay on top of you for a long time not wanting to move. I love this you to damn much to just leave you. But I know that I must. We have different, completely different lives. I know that we may never be able to be together. I kiss you one last time, I feel the tears build up but I will not allow myself to cry.   
  
[Surrender my heart, body and soul  
How can you be you're asking me to feel?  
The things you never show]  
  
You break away from the kiss. I watch you as you gets up and begin to get dressed again. Before you put on your glasses you turn to face me. I see the pain and love in your eyes. I feel the need to cry and a tear rolls down my cheek. I get up to stop you but you just wave me away. "Daisuke, I love you and I am sorry," you say.  
  
[Show me the meaning of being lonely  
Is this the feeling I need to walk with?  
Tell me why I can't be there where you are  
There's something missing in my heart]  
  
"I love you too, Ken." you respond. I put on my glasses. And look at your face. The tears are streaming down your cheeks. I lean down and kiss your tears away. "Why can't we be together Ken?" you question me.  
  
[Show me the meaning of being lonely  
Is this the feeling I need to walk with?  
Tell me why I can't be there where you are  
There's something missing in my heart]  
  
"Because we are enemies," I watched as you walk off, disappearing in the shadows that you came out of. I feel something in my heart missing. I know that you are what I am missing and I know you feel the same way too. I swear one day, Ken, I will free you from being the Digimon Kaizer and then we will be able to be together. Ken you are my love.  
  
  
*sniffles* God that was sad. *starts to cry and then stops* Why am I crying I am the one that wrote this. It's amazing what you can do in two hours. I hope you liked it. If you review I will right more. ^_^ Man I can't believe how many times I used I, you and your in this fic. Oh well. It's like they are talking to each other through their minds. Kind of freaky huh? *giggles* Anyways, I will have more soon. I know you are all waiting for part two to my other fan fic.  



	2. Daisukes POV

Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely Part 2  
  
Okay this takes place after Ken is no longer the Digimon Kaizer and before he joins the Digidestined. Okay that's all for now.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon at all if I did it would be shown in America subtitled and un-cut, and then I would rule the world *evil laugher* ^_^;  
  
  
  
~Daisuke's POV~  
  
:-Daisuke's Math class-:  
  
It's been a few days since Ken's reign as the Digimon Kaizer has ended and I have offered for him to join the Digidestined, we need his help, and mostly to be with me. I fell in love with him more then I ever thought I would that night we spent together in the Digital World. The images of that night still run through my head, I even dream about it. I no longer dream about Hikari my dreams are now flooded with Ken, not the Kaizer just Ken. Hikari, beautiful like a rose but just as painful, she has Takeru's affection. And he has hers. I can see it in her eyes. Which brings me to Ken's eyes. Beautiful violet eyes that reflect his emotions are more clear now, his eyes much softer. I pay a lot of attention to eyes, they are the window to a person's soul. I know I have been rambling on about nothing but I can't concentrate on this damn math. The teacher has been staring at me for quite sometime while I stare out the window in my own little fantasy, thinking. Funny *me* thinking. Something the others would never see me doing. Maybe I should talk to Ken alone. The last time I talk to him alone I talked to him about joining the Digidestined, I should have talked about *us*. He said we couldn't be together because we were enemies. But we are no longer enemies. We're all part of a team now. I know what's in my heart and from what Ken told me, he feels the same way. I hope he still loves me. I love him. I guess maybe I should pay attention to class before I get in trouble more then I already in.  
  
I look at the sheet of paper in front of me; it's a bunch of letters and numbers nothing ever really makes since to me. I wonder why the Hell we are doing Algebra when we are only in 5th grade! I know I can ask Ken to help me I'm sure he wouldn't mind. That would give me a chance to talk to him alone. When I see him in the Digital World, or I hope he is there he usually is trying to fix what he made, I'll ask him to help me with math. I hear the bell ring. I gather my things and head towards the computer room quickly almost running into a few people on accident in the hallway. I enter the computer room and no one is there. Where are they maybe I should just go to the Digital World alone, but then they would probably get mad at me. Miyako was the first person to enter the room shortly followed by Iori. You know they would make a good couple if you took away the obvious difference in height and age.  
  
"Hikari and Takeru will be here soon they had to talk to Taichi and Yamato about something." Miyako says to me and gets angry when I don't reply. "Daisuke are you even paying attention to me?"  
  
"Huh?" I said, I wasn't really paying attention at all I could think about was getting to the Digital World and seeing Ken. "I'm sorry Miyako, what did you say?"  
  
"Forget it!" Miyako replied sounding quite pissed at me. Like I care about what she thinks she's after *my* man. And to think I wouldn't have called myself gay a few months ago but Ken changed me. And I like that change.  
  
After several minutes of an uneasy silence Hikari and Takeru come in holding hands but quickly let go of each other. I think the are embarrassed to do that sort of thing in front of me I don't know why. I know Hikari and Takeru love each other. It doesn't bother me anymore I am not that *way*.  
  
"Hey guys let's go! Digimental Gate Open!" I put my D-3 to the computer screen and land in the Digital World in less then a second. It still feels weird being downloaded. I check my D-3 really quick to see if Ken is nearby and to my luck he's about a mile away from here. The others appear about a minute later.  
  
I flash my cutest smile, "What took you guys so long?"  
  
Miyako shot a glare, "Why the Hell are you so happy?"  
  
"Why are you always so bitchy?" Crud I shouldn't have said that, her hand stung my face.  
  
"Miyako that wasn't nice!" Hikari said looking at her.  
  
"He shouldn't have said that I was bitchy!" Miyako growled.  
  
I just chuckle and head off in the direction Ken is in; V-mon follows me silent as ever. He knows about Ken, and me. I had to tell someone. I can trust V-mon so I told him at first he didn't understand but I explained it to him the best I could. I guess I'm smarter then I appear though you wouldn't be able to tell the first time you look at me. But I am not a complete baka.  
  
Takeru noticed that I was heading off, "Daisuke, why are we going this way? I thought that we were going to take control of the control spires in that direction?" he points in the other direction. Funny if they would have looked at their D-3's they would have figured out why I wanted to go this direction.  
  
"I changed my mind lets go this way." I don't wait for an answer.  
  
V-mon pokes my leg. I turn to him with a questioning look. He looks up at me, and whispers "Daisuke why are we going this way?"  
  
"Ken is this way I need to talk to him." V-mon just nods and we continue to walk. The others are either far behind me or decided to go off on their own. Figures. They never listen to me I'm the leader of the Digidestined I wonder if Taichi had to go through this. I sigh and continue to walk along with V-mon more silent then usual. I wish he would talk but what would we talk about. School? Nah too boring if you ask me.  
  
A shadow falls over me and I look up. Stingmon looks busy destroying a control spire. But if I see Stingmon then that means that Ken is nearby! I start to run in the direction that I see Stingmon flying in but then I slow down to a walk so V-mon can keep up. I don't want to be stuck with out him especially with that creepy woman and her ugly looking boyfriend.  
  
"KEN!!" I yell when I see him. He looks at me for a second and then looks away quickly.  
  
"Look Daisuke if this is about me joining the Digidestined, I still have to think about it. Okay?" Ken said looking at the ground. I wish you would look at me.  
  
"It's not that.." I laugh, "I was wondering if you would help me with my homework later." STUPID! Stupid me! I have him alone and all I could say is something about my homework.  
  
"Sure, come over later. I should get going." He looks up. "Stingmon lets destroy some more over in that direction and go home." Stingmon flew down to pick up Ken.  
  
"Ken wait! I need your number so I can call you before I come over." He scribbles down his number and gives it to me. Our hands touch and he looks at me briefly before looking away, hopping on Stingmon's back and flying off in another direction.  
  
"You're not going to do homework are you Daisuke?" V-mon startles me with the question.  
  
"I-I'm not sure, I do need help in Math, but I also want to talk to him alone."  
  
:Scene change -Daisuke's bedroom-:  
  
I've been staring at this piece of paper with Ken's number for the last hour I have it memorized by now. I should call him but I'm nervous. The Hell with it I'm going to call him right now. I pick the phone and dial the number without looking at the sheet of paper.  
  
A woman, I'm guessing Ken's mom, answers the phone, "Hello Ichijouji residence."  
  
"Is Ken there?" I smack myself for sounding nervous.  
  
"Yes he is, let me get him." Her voice is sweet sounding. There is a short silence.  
  
"Hello, this is Ken."  
  
"Hey Ken! It's me Daisuke. Are you ready for me to come over?"  
  
"Sure come on over."  
  
"I'll be there as soon as possible. I need to know where you live first."  
  
Ken tells me how to get to his house. We say bye to each other and I hang up the phone. Chibimon has fallen asleep so I don't bother to bug him. I run down the stairs and tell my parents that I will be home in a little bit and leave before I get an answer from them. I ride the bus for about an hour and go up to Ken's apartment and knock on the door.  
  
  
  
~To be continued~  
  
Angel: Don't you hate it when I leave you hanging? *snickers* The next part is from Ken's POV. I get bored at work and I write a lot so the next part should be up soon. I hope. Anywho maybe I should write on my other fanfics as well.  



	3. 

Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely, Part 3  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon *sniffle* If you did try to get like 10 pennies if even that o.o;  
  
A/N: Yeah I changed my name big deal. I like being called Kenny better then Angel.  
  
  
~Ken's POV~  
  
:-Ken's Bedroom-:  
  
I hung up the phone with Daisuke. I feel extremely nervous now. He's coming over. He says he needs help with math though. I know I still love him but I wonder if he still feels the same way about me. It seems like it. I have loved him since the first time I saw him and I always will love him. But every time he comes and talks to me it's about something other then that night together. Sighing I glance around the room to make sure everything is in order and clean -of course it is- it always is. I have nothing to mess up my room with. My bed is made I make it every morning before I go to school. So all I have to do is sit and wait. It's only been 30 minutes since he called I have at least 45 minutes before he gets here. Maybe I should take a shower I went straight to the Digital World after soccer practice and I haven't been home for very long. I probably stink.  
  
I check the clock.. 15 minutes. I towel dry my hair, comb it out and check the mirror. Perfect. I pace around the room checking up on Minomon a few times. He's sleeping peacefully on my pillow. I smile looking at him. The way he can forgive me the way he did after I caused his death. It makes me feel good that he doesn't hate me for it. He knows about Daisuke, and my feelings. I tell him everything now. He seems to be the only friend I have left after my dominance over the Digital World. I pick up my crest and D-3 that are sitting on my desk. The Crest of Kindness and a black D-3. It doesn't seem to fit. It's a bit confusing. But isn't life confusing to begin with? Setting the D-3 and the crest back down on the desk I walk out of the room and into the bathroom to put my towel that has been draped around my shoulders up. The doorbell rings and I literally jump. I didn't think it had been 15 minutes yet.  
  
"Hello Mrs. Ichijouji." I hear Daisuke say.  
  
"Oh! You must be Ken's friend." I hear my mom say cheerfully. I chuckle a bit. Why couldn't I get her cheerfulness?  
  
I started to feel a bit nervous. I can't do this what if he doesn't feel the same, what if he doesn't care anymore? What if.. what if... they keep running through my mind. All the different possibilities. Nothing coming to an answer, it's going to drive me insane. I walk into my room, sitting down at my desk waiting to hear my mom point Daisuke in the direction of my room.  
  
"Ken, honey, your friend is here" I hear her giggle.  
  
"Just send him in here." I thought I heard my voice crack; it must have been my imagination. After a few moments I hear the door crack open, and shut slightly. I also hear a click. Daisuke must have locked the door. I tense up a bit.  
  
"Hello Daisuke," I say quietly, I wonder if he even heard me.  
  
"Hiya Ken!" Daisuke says cheerful as ever. Curse these people and their damn cheerfulness. I turn around and look at him. He's leaning against the door looking at me. I feel the blush creep up to my cheeks. Damn. I look Daisuke up and down; he's wearing his normal attire, a pair of shorts and a T-shirt with a jacket over it. Looking a bit closer I realize that he doesn't have his books with him or anything.  
  
"Um.. weren't we going to study? Where are your books at?" I ask slightly confused.  
  
"I left the house so fast I forgot to bring them," he shrugged and laughed slightly. "I thought about it along the way here. I don't want to study, I want to talk."  
  
"If it's about joining the Digidestined. Forget it I still need to think about it." I said rather firmly.  
  
He shook his head and walked over to where he was standing in front of me. I look up and blink at him a few times. "Ken I'm not here to talk about that I'm here to talk about us."  
  
"..." I take a deep breath and gather up my courage and look him in the eyes. "What do you mean?"  
  
He reached down and put his hand on my cheek softly, "I think you know what I mean, I want to be with you Ken, and you said we couldn't be together a while back because we were enemies but we're not anymore."  
  
"Honto ni? You still love me... I-I- I didn't think you still did after all I did." I felt the tears building up in my eyes.  
  
"Baka.. love is stronger then that. What you did in the past is past it really shouldn't matter too much. It doesn't to me at least to me. I love you Ken." He reached down and kissed me lightly and drew back.  
  
I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought him back down for a kiss. I couldn't tell you when I had ever been so happy, the only other time I felt this happy was when Wormmon came back to me. After this kiss we talked for a few hours before he had to go home. Later on I did join up with Digidestined, I'm happy to be with Daisuke now. He's the love of my life.  
  
~End~  
  
Kenny: God! That was sooooooo sappy !  
Daisuke: *shrugs* It wasn't that bad.  
Ken: Yes very good!  
Kenny: Liars ¬.¬ *grabs them both and locks them in the closet* I'm done with you now. On to Taichi and Yamato! *grins @ Taichi and Yamato*  
Taichi and Yamato: *sweatdrops*  
Kenny: Oh come on I'm not -that- bad!   



End file.
